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Pretty Ugly

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 This brilliant poem was written by Abdullah Shoaib. It can be read in two ways. One way is filled with self criticism then when read bottom up translates to a positive affirmation. The type of conversation we have within ourselves influences our feelings, behaviour and overall self-perception. ❣ If you find yourself drowning in the unpleasant words others have used about you, be intentional about speaking to yourself like the worthy and valuable person that you are. ❣The operative word here is 'intentional' 💞 Bear in mind that verbal abuse is not about who you are but a confession of the abuser's feelings about themselves. You have the power to change the words you speak to yourself.  Choose healthy, positive words. As always, thank you for reading. Please leave your comments and feedback and share, share, share With love, Feyisitan If you're experiencing domestic abuse or have escaped and still experiencing post-separation abuse, join my Facebook community for suppor

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020

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Glory to God for a victorious 2019 🙏🏼 💝 😍 💃 To my clients, THANK YOU for trusting me with your transformation journey Have a blissful, narc-free, abuse-free, guilt-free 2020 and beyond.  You're blessed and highly favoured  💖 💖 💖 Keep living and flourishing in your truth -  Unbroken, Unashamed and Unstoppable. Enjoy 😍 💝 🙏🏼 🥂 🍾 With Love  Feyisitan

Why Can't She Just Leave?

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Why can't she just leave? This is a very common question that comes up in domestic violence cases in intimate relationships, married or dating. I believe it's common knowledge that domestic abuse is no respecter of gender. Men and women can be caught up in intimate abusive relationships. However, inherent patriarchal privileges make more women vulnerable to domestic abuse than men are. It doesn't mean the lower percentage of men in abusive relationships is being ignored. Ever wondered "why can't she just leave"?? 🤔. This post will provide some insights into the reasons some victims of domestic abuse feel helpless & hopeless even when they have enough support to leave the abuser. In fairness to those who have not directly experienced domestic abuse, it's really difficult for them to fathom the justification for staying in such toxic relationships when violence comes home. It's no brainer, right? Well, it's not always that simple a

No One Is Wired To Cheat

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Hi people, this picture was taken on my weekend trip. I had planned to not visit Instagram or Facebook during my weekend break but that plan didn't last very long..lol but I'm glad I did because I saw a post on Instagram that inspired this topic. I wasn't even sure what title to use but I'm sticking with 'No One is Wired To Cheat' I saw a post on Instagram about the cheating scandal involving a popular American family. I noticed that many people were blaming and shaming the 'third-party' in the comment section. Well, I believe that people really need to learn to stop blaming 'third-parties' for relationship breakups. It doesn't matter whether the 'third party' is a side chic/piece (whatever they're called these days 😃 ), a toxic friend or monster-in-laws. If you must blame someone, focus on the party that indulged the third-party in the first place. That "men are wired to cheat" nonsense need to stop.

Common Terminologies in Narcissistic Abuse

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These are some of the common terminologies used in narcissistic abuse Narc - Refers to a Narcissist Target  - The primary person experiencing or that experienced domestic/narcissistic abuse Love Bombing -  The initial strategic attention, superficial, feign affection the narcissist displays to secure their targets. It could be easily mistaken as genuine love, care and affection. They make empty promises, flatter their targets with excessive praise or gifts. They might also pretend to show interests in what they actually loathe just to deceive their target into believing and accepting them Narcissistic Supply - praise, admiration, validation, laudable position or title the narcissist desperately seek and needs to create a sense of importance  Enablers - People that knowingly or unknowingly support, validate, justify and revere narcissistic behaviour Flying Monkeys - The people the narcissists successfully manipulate to act on their behalf. They would have been g

It's OK To Cry

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Yes, it's ok to cry when hurt. Crying is an expression of emotions and not a sign of weakness In a world where many people are raised with "big boys don't cry", ''man-up'' mentality to show strength when hurt or facing challenges, many people have been forced to master the act of suppressing their true emotions. However, suppressed hurtful emotions often lead to misplaced aggression which may lead to abusive behaviour When children are trained to suppress their emotions: - They may associate crying with weakness and become insensitive to other people's feelings and emotions  - They may use crying as a weapon of deception to avoid accountability -  They may experience frustration which will lead to transferred aggression (blind rage) Over the years, from personal experience and other people's experiences of domestic abuse, It's found that abusers often display phases of exploitative rage which leave their vic