Domestic Abuse and Narcissistic Abuse Awareness with Feyisitan

  Image by Andrea Piacquadio on Canva Domestic abuse is traumatic and it is important to understand the devastating impact it has on the victims/survivors bearing in mind that there are various dynamics of domestic abuse. It takes a lot of courage for survivors to reach out to other people, to discuss their ordeal. When a victim/survivor reaches out to you, be empathetic and kind; your reaction and your words could help them to heal or cause them more pain. While the abuser may be known to you, the victim's experience with them is different from yours.  Be mindful to avoid any statement that implies or suggests the victim may be partly or fully responsible for the abuse. Any of these statements if made could cause them more harm, making their traumatic situation a lot worse.  These are some of the things you MUST NEVER ask or say to victims/survivors of domestic abuse: 🚫 1️⃣ What did you do?   It's an offensive question. There's no better way of acutely accusing or ...

There's another layer of abuse women of faith experience that forces some to endure domestic abuse much longer  #spiritualbuse  . .They're often accused of - "not praying hard enough'","not submissive enough". .They're quickly reminded that - ''God hates divorce", "a wise woman builds her home" . Then blackmailed with being 'unforgiving and not Christ-like' when they summon the courage to leave the abuser. . .Some are ostracised, isolated, stripped of their titles or positions because they're suddenly not 'wise enough women' for being separated or divorced due to domestic violence . .This moment, my heart goes out to - every woman, man and child who has lost a loved one - mother, sister, cousin, aunt, friend or colleague because of this. - those who have been shamed, condemned, overlooked or judged - those living with the consequences of the error and ignorance of those who should have pr...

One of the greatest challenges victims/targets of abuse face in speaking out is getting people to believe them. This is because abusers usually have chronic multiple personalities or suffer from other forms of psychological challenges. The abusive partner could be the most amazing sibling, boss, friend, colleague, religious leader, saving other people's lives, being compassionate to other people BUT on the home-front, the abuser is a 'monster' or a 'devil's advocate' or 'in-house terrorist'. The person you see that you think you know is different from the person they know. Domestic abuse is not just physical but also include patterns of coercive control, manipulation, intimidation, verbal abuse, spiritual abuse and psychological abuse. Not every victim will have visible scars to show for their ordeal.  So when people experiencing domestic abuse reach out to you, Believe them. Help them to get help. With love Fèyísìtàn O.A Dip.Cogniti...

Abusers don't have a peculiar look or any physical traits that make anyone identify them easily as abusers. What abusers display are patterns of negative behaviours. Typically, they possess superficial charm. They warm their ways into the lives of their Target to gain their trust then gradually begin to take control of every possible area of their Target's lives -  career, relationships with family and friends, passion and interests etc. From the onset of the relationship, they appear like dream catchers, full of hope, enthusiasm and support for your interests and dreams. When they are certain they've caught your attention and commitment, they gradually display their true selves...with time, 'the mask' begin to fall off. Some begin to isolate their Targets, gradually strip their Targets of their self-esteem/ self-worth by verbal abuse, discounting, isolation, condemnation, control and manipulation. From personal experience, counselling other people and man...

Posted By: Fèyísìtàn Living in an abusive home is stressful. It is an abuser's tactic to crush their target's self-esteem. To everyone out there experiencing domestic violence/abuse, hurting from negative words spoken to them, hear this...''The voice of your abuser is not the voice of God''. Shut your mind against any negative words and embrace God's chosen words for you. You are who the Lord says you are and not someone's inability to see your worth. ''You're the righteousness of God'' (2 Corinthians 5:21), ''You are more than a conqueror through God who loves you (Romans 8:37), ''You're God's workmanship created for good works'' (Ephesians 2:10), ''You're of God...Greater is the God who lives in you than he that is in the world'' (1 John 4:4), ''You're the temple of the Holy Spirit'' (1 Corinthians 6:19). Never Give Up on yourself because you ar...

GUARD YOU HEART -  Abuse-Proof Yourself One thing common with EVERY abuser regardless of their orientation or status is to attack their target/victim’s self-esteem. It’s a gradual process, from isolation to condemnation to complaints and may even graduate or progress to physical abuse. No matter the type of abuse, it affects your emotions. Every form of abuse constitutes emotional abuse. When your emotions are attacked, it’s difficult, if not impossible to function effectively in every area of life. It’s psychologically draining and could shut you down mentally and medically. It could lead to depression, insanity or some forms of sicknesses and diseases that have never even existed in your lineage or in medical history. These days that almost every medical issue is related to cancer, one has to be very careful about what you allow your mind to process. If you’re able to understand these three major principles, it will help you to see the abuser differently an...

Domestic Abuse - General Overview  Narcissistic, Sociopathic and Psychopathic Traits in EVERY abuser There are so many stories and on-going occurrences of domestic abuse resulting in marriages breaking down at an alarming rate but many people blame this on social media. In recent years, as human beings, we have unashamedly mastered and displayed the act of assigning blames to others for things we don’t understand and things we blatantly refuse to take responsibility for. Domestic abuse is very common and it’s ruining and claiming lives. There are stories of spouses being murdered by the very person that’s supposed to love and protect them. Many have taken residence and admitted to psychiatric hospitals. Many have become shadows of their true selves because they’re in a committed relationship with an abuser. Many are suffering from emotional and grievous bodily harm inflicted by their supposed loved ones. Many suffering in silence and living in fear of being judged or sti...