About Feyisitan

Image
Hi there, thank you for visiting my blog, I am Fèyísìtàn. I am the founder of The Nurtured Ministries to create awareness of Domestic Violence in African societies. The initiative was initially titled  ''NurturedNotTortured'' was chosen primarily from the reflection of my experience being in a marital narcissistic abusive relationship for a long period of time. While the relationship was extremely toxic, it was stressful, draining and distracting but I was never broken. I was being nurtured by the reality of knowing who I was as an individual, knowing who I am in Christ as a Christian and an understanding of scriptural principles for everyday living.

I believe my experience was for a purpose, for such a time as this. To equip and prepare me for this Ministry to help others who are or may find themselves in abusive or toxic relationships.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 clearly define the foundation of this cause.

 ''3: All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…

Common Terminologies in Narcissistic Abuse



These are some of the common terminologies used in narcissistic abuse

Narc - Refers to a Narcissist

Target - The primary person experiencing or that experienced domestic/narcissistic abuse

Love Bombing - The initial strategic attention, superficial, feign affection the narcissist displays to secure their targets. It could be easily mistaken as genuine love, care and affection. They make empty promises, flatter their targets with excessive praise or gifts. They might also pretend to show interests in what they actually loathe just to deceive their target into believing and accepting them

Narcissistic Supply - praise, admiration, validation, laudable position or title the narcissist desperately seek and needs to create a sense of importance 

Enablers - People that knowingly or unknowingly support, validate, justify and revere narcissistic behaviour

Flying Monkeys - The people the narcissists successfully manipulate to act on their behalf. They would have been groomed by the narcissist over time through direct or indirect personal favours

Stonewalling - Deliberate refusal to engage or interact in any form of communication with the target. It could be avoidance or deflective strategy the narcissist adopts to avoid addressing a particular issue or taking responsibility for their shortcomings. They may provide very vague responses or cutting sarcasm. It could also be an attention seeking and manipulative strategy done by sulking with the expectation that the target will make the first move towards resolving an issue

Gaslighting - Manipulative and controlling tactic abusers adopt to make their targets question their own reality and doubt themselves done through coercive means, creating falsified scenarios, persistent denial, aggressive accusation, discounting. The ultimate goal is for the target to be confused about their own reality so they become dependent on the abuser

Grey Rocking - A strategic technique a target of narcissistic abuse adopts to limit contact or gradually withdraw from providing the narcissistic supply the narcissist desperately craves for from them

Triangulation - Narcissists typically thrive in conflicts and chaos by sowing discords amongst people. They provoke and instigate jealousy, rivalry and confusion especially between a familiar group of people with common interests. The tactic is usually by using a third party to promote false accusations against another person

Hoovering - They attempt to get their target back under their control through false apologies,  superficial praises, empty promises to engage in therapy to change their bad behaviour. It could happen after a break-up or used to prevent or delay a perceived break-up

Baiting - Deliberate, evidence gathering tactics the narcissist adopt to provoke their targets in order to get a negative reaction so they can claim innocence while playing the victim

Smear Campaign - Malicious, false allegations abusers use to discredit their targets. Usually, the narcissistic accusations are indirect confessions of what they actually did to their target

Narcissistic Injury -  A state of exposure or perceived threat to narcissistic illusions or fantasies, setbacks or disappointments from unmet expectations

Narcissistic Rage - Intense anger, disproportionate violence or aggressive response to a narcissistic injury. It could also be displayed when the narcissist is aware they are no longer in control of a situation or person

Thank you for reading



Comments