About Feyisitan

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Hi there, thank you for visiting my blog, I am Fèyísìtàn. I am the founder of The Nurtured Ministries to create awareness of Domestic Violence in African societies. The initiative was initially titled  ''NurturedNotTortured'' was chosen primarily from the reflection of my experience being in a marital narcissistic abusive relationship for a long period of time. While the relationship was extremely toxic, it was stressful, draining and distracting but I was never broken. I was being nurtured by the reality of knowing who I was as an individual, knowing who I am in Christ as a Christian and an understanding of scriptural principles for everyday living.

I believe my experience was for a purpose, for such a time as this. To equip and prepare me for this Ministry to help others who are or may find themselves in abusive or toxic relationships.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 clearly define the foundation of this cause.

 ''3: All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…

It's OK To Cry





Yes, it's ok to cry when hurt. Crying is an expression of emotions and not a sign of weakness

In a world where many people are raised with "big boys don't cry", ''man-up'' mentality to show strength when hurt or facing challenges, many people have been forced to master the act of suppressing their true emotions. However, suppressed hurtful emotions often lead to misplaced aggression which may lead to abusive behaviour

When children are trained to suppress their emotions:

- They may associate crying with weakness and become insensitive to other people's feelings and emotions 

- They may use crying as a weapon of deception to avoid accountability

-  They may experience frustration which will lead to transferred aggression (blind rage)

Over the years, from personal experience and other people's experiences of domestic abuse, It's found that abusers often display phases of exploitative rage which leave their victim and other bystanders baffled.

These sudden outbursts are often from deep-rooted unresolved anger that has nothing to do with their target/victim or the immediate circumstances. Transferred aggression from suppressed emotions is a common factor in abusive behavioural patterns. 
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For the victim, suppressed emotions are as harmful as the abuse itself is to the physical, mental and emotional health. It could lead to stress and may manifest as other medical and mental health challenges.



Quoting Sir William Osler who was a Physician and one of the founding members of John Hopkins Hospital which states - ''The organs weep the tears the eyes refuse to shed''.

I believe it's a known fact that our minds and bodies are connected. When negative emotions are trapped in the human body, they can manifest as diseases. I found this article here (thank God for Google!) very useful detailing the impact of suppressed emotions in the body according to the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Please read it. 

While we are on the journey to breaking the 'silence culture' that keep people bound and isolated in abusive/toxic relationships, when you're hurt, cry if you must, you're human after all. 

Be encouraged to seek professional help if and when needed. Express yourself the right way and to the right person so you can heal completely. Always remember that you are not alone.

It is absolutely ok for men and women to cry when hurt. Train and allow growing children (boys and girls) to express themselves with tears when they're hurt. 💖💖💖

Thank you for reading. 
Please post your comments or contributions in the comment section

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