No One Is Wired To Cheat

Hi people, this picture was taken on my weekend trip. I had planned to not visit Instagram or Facebook during my weekend break but that plan didn't last very long..lol but I'm glad I did because I saw a post on Instagram that inspired this topic. I wasn't even sure what title to use but I'm sticking with 'No One is Wired To Cheat'

I saw a post on Instagram about the cheating scandal involving a popular American family. I noticed that many people were blaming and shaming the 'third-party' in the comment section. Well, I believe that people really need to learn to stop blaming 'third-parties' for relationship breakups. It doesn't matter whether the 'third party' is a side chic/piece (whatever they're called these days😃), a toxic friend or monster-in-laws. If you must blame someone, focus on the party that indulged the third-party in the first place.

That "men are wired to cheat" nonsense need to stop. It’s one of the greatest fallacies of our time. How about the women, that cheat? Who wired them? I guess that's a question for the gods. Isn't it?? 🤔 

The reality is that sexual exploitation and recklessness are strong attributes of an overt, malignant narcissist (male or female). They’re the unrepentant promiscuous ones, serial adulterers and serial cheats (for the unmarried ones).

I must point out that not all narcissists are sexually reckless (most covert narcissist lack the confidence to approach the opposite sex) and not all sexually reckless people are narcissists. Either way, it’s a psychological dysfunction where sexcapades are used to fill their emotional and psychological emptiness.

The sad thing about this is even amongst so-called Christians that claim to be ‘’holy ghost-filled children of God’’, ‘church appointed Christian counsellors' who still justify adultery with the "men are wired to cheat" line. I remember I had to ask a certain pastor that attempted to manipulate me with that line when he heard about ex acquiring a baby mama

Me: Sir 🙋‍♀️, I have a question, please who is the electrician that 'wired men to cheat' cos it's definitely not God" 😃🤣 🤣 . He didn't quite expect that. Well, we ended up laughing about it. He was quite surprised I wasn't bothered and enquired why. I told him it was an overdue expectation from this particular target (baby mama) after about eight straight years of adultery plus she wasn't the only one. He almost lost his balance despite the fact that he was sitting down. I realised the man was only in shock and heartbroken about the news because he's known the family from the beginning. Apparently, I was about the only one who wasn’t.

While I was having a laugh, rejoicing and celebrating, I realised that many of my friends and family members were either in shock of the news or heartbroken. I underestimated the impact of that on them which was another learning curve for me about how our actions and decisions affect those who truly love and care for us. I found myself consoling some of them and others drew some strength from the fact that I wasn't bothered.

That mindset of blaming the third party is one of the many reasons some people who have been cheated on remain insecure, angry and bitter for a long period of time. Now, being in denial of your reality might bring you temporary peace but it will eventually eat you up if the truth is not confronted and dealt with soon enough. Relationship breakups are not always about the third-party.

Next time you feel compelled to label someone a 'homewrecker' or 'home breaker' or 'husband snatcher' (like the man is Agege bread hawked around on the local streets of Lagos😃   plus I haven't heard of 'wife snatcher'🤔😃😃😃,I guess patriarchal privilege makes that acceptable?? Anyway, bear in mind that ‘some’ of them are actual victims of manipulation and deception.

A man or woman that cheats habitually, is not a representation of the entire gender the culprit is. Nope, no one is wired to cheat. Stop saying that! Stop believing it! cos not only are you directly enabling the act. It also doesn't reflect well on you. It is NOT in anyone's DNA to cheat either, it's more of an entitlement mentality.

Think about your young sons, nephews, male cousins and other young male relatives, who wired them to cheat?? Think!
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.#mythoughts

Please share your thoughts in the comment section